The Valentines Day Stampede

The Valentines Day Stampede

January 14, 2019 Off By George

This morning I experienced something that really made me laugh. I wouldn’t say this necessarily has to be something that has to go, but I couldn’t share it here.

Valentines Day was most definitely invented by a woman. I don’t have any historical research to back this up, but even if you show me something to the contrary I won’t believe you. Just another reason for women to make their man show them their love with their time and wallet. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not exactly complaining about it, just calling it for what it is. I love my wife, and if this gives me an excuse (read that kick in the butt) to get out there and do something to show my feelings, I’m on it.

The guys at work and I all headed to Costco because if there is any place that screams romance it’s Costco. Actually, any seasoned V-day participant knows that Costco is the best option around for a good set of flowers at a decent price. I’ve been a loyal visitor there every year on Feb 14th for as long as I can remember. Usually, I am trying to squeeze it in later in the day, so the pickings are a bit slimmer by then. Today we decided to be there early and get the better selection.

Apparently, we are not the only enlightened husbands in the valley because we arrived to find a huge contingent of men waiting for the doors to open. This is Costco though, so we weren’t worried. There would be enough flowers to go around. Looking around though I could see more than a few furrowed brows as more men continued to arrive prior to the grand opening. The concern was written on their faces as they knew they had to beat these other guys in there to get the best flowers for their gals. Actually, what I think really worried them was the idea that they would be rushed into picking out their flowers ’cause if they dallied, everyone else would snatch up the good ones.

I decided right then I had to turn this into a bull rush. When the big doors began to roll back I timed my advance to the door so I passed through with a slight graze to my hair yet without a break in my stride. The greeter at the door mentioned she would like to see member cards, and the novices of the group stopped to fish them out. The advanced shoppers of the bunch continued on at full steam.

This is where it got fun. I was in a group of a dozen or so guys leading the pack, right in the middle of them. We were carrying on at a decent clip towards the middle of the store where the flowers are kept – not running, just a brisk walk. Time to test the resolve of these guys to win at this unspoken contest. If there was anything that has to go in this story, it is the innate need to make a competition out of the dumbest things. Every guy wants to win, even if there is nothing really to win; we can’t help it. So, I picked up the pace.

My sudden increase was immediately noticed and matched a brief moment later by the entire group. They knew I was making my move but none wanted to give up pole position. The gauntlet was thrown and the race was on. We hit the first set of isles and the group split up with some taking the direct route and others cutting through other isles to hide the fact that they were going to break into a full on run once out of site.

I nearly doubled over laughing, but instead slowed my pace a bit and let the others get ahead. I arrived a few seconds after the initial group and of course, there were hundreds of bouquets to choose from. My sweetheart received her flowers and I left with a good story to brighten my day. Hopefully, it brightened yours a bit as well.